


sleepy vampire kitty.png

by surrealmeme



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Cats, Domestic Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow Friendship, Sleep, Texting, Vampire fangs, Watching Someone Sleep, cat teeth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:15:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21702817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surrealmeme/pseuds/surrealmeme
Summary: Simon stared at Baz for a probably unhealthily long period of time and with a probably unhealthy degree of focus. And then he sawit.
Relationships: Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 3
Kudos: 109





	sleepy vampire kitty.png

**Author's Note:**

> Ambiguous timeline but probably somewhere during or after wayward son (no spoilers)
> 
> And Baz is more comfortable w/ his vampirism than in canon, just to make this more plausible

Contrary to popular belief, vampires need to eat solid food, sleep, and breathe just like any other person. All three of these biological necessities had been exhibited in one Baz Pitch—after eating a rare steak, he had passed out on the couch, chest rhythmically falling up and down.

His hair, thick and lustrous, formed a black halo around his head; a few locks fell over his closed eyes. The slight turn of his head accentuated high cheekbones and strong jaw, caused his loose shirt to fall to the side and expose a collarbone. Even in sleep, his body fell at naturally graceful angles, infuriatingly perfect.

(Were these observations a product of Simon’s bias? Possibly. However, there _was_ a reason why everyone at Watford had unanimously appointed Baz as the Hottest™)

Simon stared at Baz for a probably unhealthily long period of time and with a probably unhealthy degree of focus. And then he saw _it_.

Baz had fallen asleep with his mouth just barely open, lips about to brush together. And right there, poking out from under his upper lip, were the tips of his fangs—nothing more than gleaming little white triangles.

They were ridiculously and overwhelmingly cute.

Narrowly avoiding dropping his phone from excitement and subsequently waking Baz, Simon took a picture.

This picture was then sent to Penny:

[baz_baby_fangs.png]

_< 3 <3 <3_

_Read this: Cat Teeth Are Adorable And They_

_Deserve Our Attention RIGHT NOW_

_Buzzfeed.co.uk_

Simon clicked on the link and immediately understood why Penny had sent it. The “article” was entirely comprised of photos of cats, with _their_ mouths slightly open, _their_ little canines in view. So yeah, Baz was a cat. Simon would cherish this knowledge forever.

When Baz awoke, it was because of Penny texting him, causing his phone to loudly vibrate on the wooden end table. Grumbling, Baz opened his messages:

_[cat_teef.png]_

_[blackcatteeths.png]_

_[sleepy_vampire_kitty.png]_

What is this bunce

_Ask Simon._

“Snow, why did Bunce just text me three photos of some random cats?” Baz demanded.

“Oh, you saw that?” Simon asked, trying to play it off cool.

“It woke me up, didn’t it,” Baz deadpanned.

Simon switched up his tactic.

“Baz, you are a very handsome man,” he said, “and a very cute one, too. You know that, right?”

Baz looked suspicious but started to smile anyway. (Baz may pretend to be all cool and unflappable, but Simon knew that a few compliments never failed to fluster him.)

“And when you were sleeping today,” Simon continued, “you happened to look very… you know what, just look at this.”

Simon showed Baz the photo, specifically within his texts with Penny.

Baz, in a pleasant, controlled, and menacing tone, said,

“So you’ve single-handedly caused Bunce to equate me with a cat?”

“Well, she’s not wrong.”

“Snow, you _bastard!_ If you show anyone else, I _swear_ I’ll kill you!”

(Of course, in no universe did Baz later demand that Simon send him the photo. No, that never happened.)


End file.
